by Lisa Redmond, a graduate of Southwest Institute of Healing Arts' Associate of Occupational Studies Degree in Mind/Body Transformational Psychology and the Master Practitioner of Hypnotherapy and Life Coaching programs.

Countless times as parents or caregivers we have witnessed the chocolaty face saying, “I didn’t eat the candy!” Or, “It wasn’t me!” Of course we can see the truth behind it, but why do children lie? They certainly don’t come into this world knowing how to lie, but by the age of two they become experts. The truth is we all lie from time to time and for different reasons. When is it acceptable? Even more importantly, what truths can we teach our children about lying?

Many believe it’s a matter of intention. Understanding the true intention behind the lie can be the determining factor. For some, lying about how great someone looks can be perfectly acceptable. In fact, it has the potential to make someone feel good. However, denying that we spilled the grape juice on the carpet is unacceptable. What we want is to avoid the acceptance of lies and push for truth in our children. Here are some solutions that can help you do that.

Truth: Some children believe that lying is a way to avoid punishment.
Lie: It works.
Solution: Teach the importance of accepting responsibility for your own actions. Children who learn the importance of honesty have a higher level of self-esteem and more confidence in their ability to accept and cope with making mistakes. When a child lives in fear of punishment, you have lost the battle of teaching truth vs. lying.

Truth: Some children believe that lying is a way to please others.
Lie: It works.
Solution: As adults, we tend to do this often. With children, tact and respect for others’ feelings are two things that can be difficult to teach. You can teach children to use kind and gentle words when expressing honest feedback to someone. Following this honesty with a compliment is a great way to convey caring. By putting this into practice children learn that it is possible to be honest with someone without jeopardizing their security in the relationship.

Truth: Some children believe that there is a difference between a little lie and a big lie.
Lie: There is.
Solution: This is a great opportunity to teach the meaning of credibility. No matter what size the lie, it’s still a lie. Children need to learn the importance of being truthful and how the consequence of losing their credibility affects their friends and family. When someone loses trust in them due to lying, they will find it difficult to keep friendships. Isolation is the end result which has a definite impact on how they feel about themselves as individuals. Learning to maintain solid relationships is a fundamental part of building self-worth.

There are a lot of reasons for lying, but taking the time to educate children on the truths about lying is important to their moral development. When children learn to accept responsibility for their actions by telling the truth, they can better manage and cope with mistakes. Everybody makes them. So, the question is who is confident enough to tell the truth with chocolate on their face?

Lisa Redmond is the owner of True Self Connection, LLC. She works with families and children, specializing in building self-esteem and confidence. You can reach Lisa at 602-680-6700.