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Psychology: Your Life Experience: You Are in Charge

by Rev. Sandy Jones, a graduate of Southwest Institute of Healing Arts' Associate of Occupational Studies Degree in Mind/Body Transformational Psychology and Life Coaching program.

I am not referring to a place you get a hair cut or the movie, but rather the vision we place upon a desired outcome.

Have you ever gone shopping for a particular something, where you have a vision firmly planted in your mind of what it looks like, feels like or even tastes like? And what happens next? Well, it’s been my experience that most of the time, I never find it. How about you?

The other amazing aspect of this is, when we are so focused on what we “think” we want, that we totally miss finding what we really need. It could be staring us in the face, and we are looking right past it. Great expectations.

We expect our life to be a certain way, and amazingly enough we are surprised when it does not. We expect others and even ourselves to act a certain way. How many times have you thought you would do one thing and wound up doing the exact opposite? Funny – it’s almost as if the experience of expectation is hard wired into our system – and in fact it is.

In the book Emotional Alchemy by Tara Bennet-Golemen, these are referred to as schemas. Mental habits. Programmed reactions and responses to events as they unfold. Often schemas are tied to negative events, but they can also be tied to emotional high points which trigger learned responses as well.

In the movie “What the Bleep do we know” it is stated that we are addicted to our emotions and the physical response is referred to as neuro-peptides. A physical response based on external stimuli which triggers a chain reaction - literally. The scene of the wedding reception really wraps this concept together with a neat bow. You see the victims, the queen, the over-eater, the detached photographer who becomes the party girl and the old stories tied to the past that ride into the present. Wow! Who knew all of that was happening within ourselves as we act out our mini dramas in order to fulfill the expectations we seem to be attached to.

So with all this in mind, what can someone do if they want to change a mental habit? How do you let go of great expectations? The first step is to become aware. Become the witness. Watch your story as it unfolds. See who you are, and take a good look at what you do, how you react, what you say, how you feel. Listen to your thoughts. Learn to let go of expectation.

As my father always says, “Expect the unexpected.” In other words, learn to love the mystery.

Awareness is the key to unlock the door of your greatest mystery and your greatest misery. In any given moment in time, we can create something new, through a change of mind, a course correction in our mental state which begins the process of re-wiring within our body. There is so much power in one thought.

You are in charge of your experience. You decide in every moment, every thought, every feeling, every reaction, and every outcome. It’s your party. Make it a great one. Expect the unexpected.

Sandy Jones worked as a designer, teacher, software specialist and entrepreneur in the tech industry for 25 years. She recently created Soul Motivations, a ministry devoted to helping people remember. 4480-491-2464 or This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .